Thursday, August 05, 2004
Been staying home since parents' day... School allowed me to take a break and return back after 1 week... But to speak the truth, i never wanted to go back.. I have this deep relunctance in me to go back.. I mean since i have already decided to go to poly, why for waste my time when i can be doing other things? Like volunteer work, calligraphy, driving, n work? I'm not daft n want to sit around wasting my time..
I'm fickle i know.. just always can't make up my mind.. But i'm glad to try ... Though trying everything seriously dun get me anywhere... I dun wan to go back straight into Common Tests and i know nothing about anything.. What's the point lah? I'l fail everything seriously this time coz i havn't been touching my books.. It's pointless... I wish for someone to totally understand my predicament.. but there's none... ONe or two who do try to continue and nmot give up.. But since i'm out you take me in also no use wat.. My heart's not there.. I 'm not doin what i wnat to ... I dun wanna fail... BUt the way things are, i'm amazed if i can seriuosly pass...
The whole family's very upset about it ... N yesterday, my aunt n my mentor took me out to Mandarin Hotel's Chatterbox for dinner n a talk.. It really requires a lot of perseverence and capital to start a cafe.. N in a cafe, i can't possibly sell those snacks in provision shops to make extra income... I havn't tried my hand at anything.. How am i to know if anything will turn out the way i want? BAking something to perfection requires years' of practice.. I'm really daft to think i can do it within weeks... Haiz.. N it's no rest or holidays for food business since the crowd's during holidays... N if i have decided to throw in the towel, i have totally nothing impressive to show my future employers... Only a diploma... Haiz...
But i've seriously have lost interest in my studies in SR liao.. Quite difficult to pick it up n thrudge along just like this... HAiz.. WHy is the appointment tommorrow?? So late... Cant even assess my problems earlier... HAiz...
~ * ...SpRinkLed WiTh LoVe... * ~
10:51 AM
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