Juz got a lift from mentor to office.. We spoke about my phobias.. den about PE phobia.. I was actually still trembling and my hands and feet turned icy cold wen we talked about what happened during the Sec 3 Napha run... I'm always still jittery wen i tink about it.. about wat happened.. how i fainted.. wat happened after that.. Ever since that incident, i've had phobia about PE ever since.. Actually i've been abit problematic since sec 2.. i dunno why... ok.. Lack of exercise.. asthma.. mental phobia... i juz can't get it over myself..
We talked about my anxieties.. My crazy fantasies.. I actually have an inkling that i have anxiety disorder.. (It's not been diagnosed yyet though) coz i'm always worring over evrything.. big or small.. Even my friends think i'm a worrywart.. I just can't help myself.. She said i needed to talk it out whenever i have problems instead of keeping it to myself.. Sure.. I'd really like to.. Only that i can't keep burdening others with my own burden.. I unload some of them with my close friends sometimes.. But mostly.. i still have to keep it to myself..
I thought i had a great person i cud turn to when ever i have problems wen we were together.... i enjoyed the company.. the fun with you.. problems i cud tok to whether big or small.. ur advice n understanding... but then.. it turned out that good things were not meant to last.. now i not only lost a __ , I lost a great confidant........
I might turn mental soon.. Haha... GET A GRIP GAAL!!
I should look at things from other point of view n not be so pessimistic!!!!
1)So that i wun get so many white hairs!!
2)So that i wun really really get diagnosed with serious anxiety disorder!!
3)So that i wun be mental!!
Ok.. the sun was shining brightly today.. I should also be as cheery as the sun!! I do feel more relaxed now that i've written out what's in me.... At least it's not stifling me as much now..... Blogging also acts as a medium for me to inflate my anxieties wen i have no one to turn to about my problems..... =>
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