Actually, last nite planned to go cycling with Janell today.. But she goota edit her book.. So me thought of going library myself.. Who knows this morning when my mum n gran asked about it, den sparkes flew out.. They said i was going out every week...
Den my mum thought i was going out with a guy actually, only that i wasn't telling them.. I din wanna go National Library at Stamford Rd coz there were organised tours visiting the place n i felt uncomfortable being there..
What's wrong with me going out after working for 5days? Ever since i started working, i havn't any social life.. Except when there were the poly open houses going on.. Is going out with my frens once a week so difficult? N it's not like everyone's oways free to accompany me wen i wanna go out..
I feel terribly cooped up at home and there's this frustration building up within me n i just wanna go out n breathe some air alone.. What's so difficult about that?
The 1st time I was allowed to go out alone with my friends was in Pr 6 during the last day of school.. N the 1st time i took bus out alone to go out or go school alone was in Sec 1! I've been so restricted n protected i've grown so dependant on others.. I'm naive becoz i'm not really allowed to explore the outside world myself.. N everyone's always saying even my younger siblings are more worldly-wise den me.. I dun mind actually coz it's true.. But now, it's nagging at the back of my head.. I know they are concerned n worried.. But they need to let me unwind myself too rite?
THere doesn't seem to be anyone I can truely bear my heart to.. all of it.. everythink that's bothering me.. Haiz.. that's the way life goes? I just wished there's better understanding between people-to-people... especially between family members....
I hope i get good grades.. The day grows nearer.. My fear grows with each passing day.. Everyone's fearful of how things will turn out that day.. I hope everyone can be happy that day.. Truly truly hope......
11:50 AM